After a evening run today, I sat down on, on a bench, in the outdoors and did some thinking. Do i like my job as an equity research analyst? I think I like the subject. You read about the industry, you think, you talk to management, you ask the right questions, you apply common sense and a lot of conservatism and because the market is irrational and myopic at times, you can be right agaisnt the market and make some easy money.

But i do not like the way that equity research is performed in real life and which i have to follow in order to fufill my job obligations. Too rush, too short-term in thinking, not cautious enough,overly emphasis on numerical estimates, dosent give a big enough margin of safety, too follow-the-herd.

It is important, i think, to slow dow the research process. Slowing down and doing other things on the sideline, letting your thoughts float when you are doing other things, thats when get a more wholesome picture, thats when you noticeed the social and economic trends around you, thats when you test and retest whats on paper and what management tells you agaisnt common sense.

So what? So how? This industry is like that. Every sell-brokerage is like that. Even for smaller firms which are suppossed to be more independent. Because they try to do too many reports to earn money from SGX, they cant apply much thinking or cautiousness too. Buy-side is worse, their know less than the buy-side. They dont bet with their own money.

The only way out for me it seems is to defy the industry, to strike out on my own, betting on my own money, answerable to no one. For that to happen, i need a lot of money. At least a million. Will companies talk to me if i have only a million to play with. Well, i dont have to talk to the head. Applying some ingenuity, i can formulate the right questions to ask the lower ranks. I can like harari, call up the restaurants to ask how may seats they have. And in a depression, perhaps the boss will be so bored, they wont mind talking to me.

Now how do i get that 1 million???

天若有情词 李健达.曲 罗大佑.主唱 袁凤瑛.

原谅话也不讲半句此刻生命在凝聚过去你曾寻过某段失去了的声音落日远去人祈望留住青春的一刹风雨思念置身梦里总会有唏嘘若果他朝此生不可与你那管生命是无奈过去也曾尽诉往日心里爱的声音就像隔世人期望重拾当天的一切此世短暂转身步进萧刹了的空间只求望一望让爱火永远的高烧青春请你归来再伴我一会

Chris Melo's work as a landscaper is more than just grass and flowers.
It's a blend of design, technical skill and professional know-how.
He first got into the business of mowing lawns while studying communications and political science at the University of New Mexico about 20 years ago. Then, it was just a side job he did with a couple of his buddies for extra cash.
After an internship at then-Channel 2, he decided an office job was not in his future. Instead, Melo and two friends formed MBC Lawn and mowed lawns together.
"We had 25 clients mowing lawns," Melo said about the early days. "Then they (his partners) left to get real jobs."
Today, Melo runs the company with his wife, Dina, and, over the years, it's grown into a full-fledged landscape design company that raked in an estimated $1.2 million in 2006, he said.
But Melo's success comes from knowing a lot more than how to mow lawns, he said.
In New Mexico's arid climate, knowing which kind of tree or bush or plant to choose isn't as simple as picking what seems prettiest. Landscapers must know things like not tying in grass and tree irrigation together when constructing a design.
"Or you'll have an irrigation system that could waste a lot of water," Melo said.
He also insists on answering all incoming calls so he can consult personally with potential clients to find out if they have a "green" or "black" thumb, which helps him understand how much maintenance the client can handle.
Other important factors when designing a landscape are the client's plans for the yard, their lifestyle and their personal taste, Melo said.
For instance, a client whose dog spends the majority of its time in the yard shouldn't get grass, because it won't grow properly, he said. And a business person who travels a lot shouldn't get plant life that's high-maintenance, he said.
In the 20 years he's been in the business, New Mexico landscaping trends have changed dramatically, he said.
"Back then, any new construction had grass," Melo said. "Today, everyone wants Santa Fe brown rock and outdoor living spaces."
Although Melo and his crew stay busy, it's not always rosy owning your own landscaping business, he said.
For industry newcomers, the red tape and bureaucracy can make a hopeful entrepreneur's head spin.
A myriad of New Mexico permits are required from the Construction Industries Division and the Department of Agriculture, in addition to a $35 business license.
Landscapers have to take tests for various licenses and must also have experience under a licensed landscaping business owner.
The American Nursery and Landscape Association based in Washington, D.C., acts as a clearinghouse of information for landscape architects and aids them in navigating the tangle of bureaucratic requirements.
The organization also provides tools and educational resources on starting and maintaining a business, said Jonathan Bardzik, director of marketing and industry relations.
"There's tons of education out there for those who want to dig a better hole or pick a better tree," Bardzik said. "We help them run their business better."
Knowledge, professionalism and talent are key to making it all work, but first a landscaper has to win the bid. And with rising material costs, it presents another challenge.
In the last 18 months, landscapers have seen a 20 to 25 percent cost increase in cement, steel, wood, plants and rock and gravel.
Melo handles this by offering high-quality design and work, which don't necessarily go hand-in-hand with the lowest bid, he said.
"We are usually never the lowest bidder, and that's fine," Melo said. "A rule of thumb (when selecting a bid) is to take out the highest and lowest and pick the middle. That's where we stand."
He charges $500 for a design and requires a 50 percent deposit before work begins.
Melo guarantees his company's workmanship and even the quality of the plant life, provided it's been maintained as instructed, he said.
Contrary to what some may believe, there's never a down period in his industry, although they reach a peak in the summer when they clock 15- to 20-hour days, he said.
During this winter's snowstorms, Melo and his crew removed snow on many private parking lots.
"There's always something to do as a landscape contractor," he said. "It's a matter of how resourceful you are."

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN A CONSULTANT FOR TOO LONG WHEN... 1: You refer to the yield of the tomato plants in your home garden as "deliverables"; 2: You can tell the copier repair person at the client site exactly what's wrong with the machine and what parts need to be replaced. 3: The new client staff come to you for information on how to start the coffee machine. 4: You've succeeded in memorizing the morning and afternoon schedules of two major airlines' flights to your client's site. 5: You can execute five complex tasks simultaneously, but you can't remember what you had for breakfast that morning. 6: You have enough "vendor" ID badges for a royal flush and two pair. 7: You know all the late night security guards at the client site on a first name basis (replace "security guards" with "cleanup staff" or "swing-shift mainframe operators" as you choose). 8: You use so many acronyms you no longer know which are your company's, the client's or the software vendor's. 9: You feel naked without a laptop hanging from your left shoulder.10: The project partner tries to hire you.11: You forego the opportunity to fly home on the weekend, because you really like it in Southfield, MI. (Schaumburg, IL... Bethesda, MD... Norwood, MA...).12: You say "Whoopee! Half day!" when you leave at 10:00PM.13: Your kids point at the phone and say "...that's the one that's broken" when you get home, thinking you must be from the NYNEX, 'cause you sure don't look familiar.14: You start thinking that life in the US Navy Submarine Corps would give you more time at home.15: You start referring to your laptop by a cute name.16: You are upset when you come home on Friday night and the lights aren't on, the bed isn't turned down, and there are no chocolates on your pillow.17: You fantasize about zero-billing.18: "Vacationing" is spending an entire weekend in your own home.19: You can call room service and order multiple entrees without looking at the menu.20: Writers for the OAG call you to verify flight numbers and times.21: You have seen more movies at 35,000 feet than you have at General Cinemas (replace Gen. Cin. with your local movie theater).22: You have had more phone numbers than Imelda Marcos has pairs of shoes.23: The media phrases "telecommuting" and "virtual office" have very real (and frightening) meaning for you.24: You forget how to turn on the windshield wipers in your own car.25: New staff point at you and say, "That's him, that's the old guy...".26: Your resume' looks like a phone book.27: The client says your rates are too high, and you blush.28: You introduce yourself to your next door neighbors ... again.29: Your spouse flies home (to your hotel) for the weekend.30: You use the words "paradigm", "granularity", and "robust" in a single sentence.31: Someone mentions a 7:00 meeting and you say, "AM or PM?".32: You cry when your laptop won't start.33: You carry on a 5 minute conversation about data warehousing, then you ask what it means.34: When other people speak of vacations in warm sunny places, you get a lost look on your face, cock your head to one side like a dog hearing a whistle, and say, "My last vacation was, um, it was, ah, um, er ....".35: You have a day off, and you call work because you miss it.36: You write a workplan for your weekends.37: Someone asks you what you do for a living, and you can't answer the question.38: Before starting the car, you insist on telling everyone where the emergency exits are.39: Before stopping the car, you insist that everyone stay seated until the fasten seatbelts sign is off.40: You call CTG (computer support group) with a support question just for the entertainment of hearing their answer.41: A good lunch consists of vending machine snacks.42: A good dinner consists of vending machine snacks.43: A good breakfast consists of a warm Heineken and a cold Pop-Tart.44: You insist that your friends submit time sheets at the end of the month so you can see what you missed.45: You can tell the hotel staff what their room-rate policy is.46: You believe that e-mail is as good as a conversation can get.47: Instant coffee tastes good.48: You can remember 15 client and hotel phone numbers, but you get stumped when asked for your home number.49: You file more state income tax returns than Microsoft has trademarks.50: You've been staying so long in the same hotel, you occasionally refer to it as "home".51: The hotel staff recognizes you and gives you the same room every week (this is not always good).52: The room service staff feels free to nag and fight with you because they know you'll be back next week anyway.53: You know all the favorite radio stations of all the valet parking guys.54: You get more calls from the hotel staff to see if you're OK than you do from your friends.55: Then you realize the hotel staff are your friends.56: You can list fifty-six (and counting) reasons why you have been a consultant for too long.57: You really think you understand the difference between "optics" and "perception".58: You try to find friends to fill your personal "white space".59: "Traction" becomes really important to you.

Ever since i started working, my life has had a negative backdrop.
Spruced up now and then by flashes of forced optimisim, encouragement from my girlfriend, joy and jokes of people around me.

Why do i feel so negative? Where is my zest for life? Where is my optimisim? I have no confidence in myself.

How many of you out there look foward to going to work??

I need some peace some calm, some renewed hopes.

But i cannot conceive of any jobs that i will enjoy doing.

SunFlower Samurai feels defeated today.

I found lyrics to one of my recent favourite songs.
Will paste them here.

酒干倘卖无
苏芮

多么熟悉的声音陪我多少年风和雨从来不需要想起永远也不会忘记没天那有地没有地那有家没有家那有你没有你那有我假如你不曾养育我给我温暖的生活假如你不曾保护我我的命运将会是什么是你抚养我长大陪我说第一句话是你给我一个家让我与你共同拥有它虽然你不能开口说一句话却更能明白人世间的黑白与真假虽然你不会表达你的真情却付出了热忱的生命远处传来你多么熟悉的声音让我想起你多么慈祥的心灵什么时候你再回到我身边让我再和你一起唱酒干淌卖无......

Today I start blogging

I start blogging today.
Hope that i will have the time and spirit to continue doing so in future.
I like my name, think its meangigful, symbolic.
Sunflower stands for brightness, hope, kindness.
Samurai represents freedom, stength, spirit in living out my life.
2008 is when it all starts.